VIKING PROFILE: The Road To Recovery: Part I

Follow defender Jess McCloy's recovery from an ACL tear

Sept. 10, 2009

This the first installment of a series of features profiling senior soccer defender Jess McCloy's recovery from a season-ending ACL tear. Follow her as she moves from the injury, to surgery, and through the tribulations of her rehab.

She knew it when it happened.

She didn't feel a pop, but a series of cracks.

Going down immediately, everything stopped as the pain filled her body. And as she dragged herself to the sidelines with tears in her eyes, she thought about how this just might be the end of her career.

Cleveland State senior soccer player Jess McCloy never expected to tear her left ACL. She had already torn her right one, pllaying in a pickup indoor game in her freshman year. She cut too quickly and went down hard, grabbing her right knee.

Shaking it off, McCloy walked off the field and forgot about it. Six months went by and she continued to run, but something was obviously wrong. Initially diagnosed as a sprain, her knee was giving out and she had more trouble cutting, planting and jumping than what was normal for just a sprain.

Visiting an orthopedic surgeon, McCloy found out she had a partial tear, one that required surgery. But fortunately, the injury became a turning point in her life.

"When I learned that it was in fact an ACL tear," McCloy said, "something clicked and I made up my mind that I was a good enough player to play Division I soccer. I needed to find a home on a team. That motivation was incredible. Most people think they are done with their career after an injury like that, but I knew that mine was just starting. I made it my mission to rehab and get back on the field."

For a girl cut from the Eastern Kentucky team, it is remarkable that an injury that is so demoralizing for athletes would turn into opportunity and a chance at a fresh start. That chance came at Cleveland State, in just its fourth year as a program. After transferring, McCloy started 15 of the 16 matches she appeared in and proved that she was fully capable of playing--and starting--for a Division I program.

In her junior year, McCloy played in every game for the Vikings and defined her role as a leader for Cleveland State, leading the team to a team-record eight wins. This year, entering her senior season, she was committed to taking the team to new heights

But it all came to a screeching halt in the 15th minute of the August 28th game against Kent State.

"It was in the run of the game," McCloy said. "I went to step in front of a girl during a throw-in and I was off balance, then I got twisted up and she fell into me. That impact made it tear.

Luckily my parents were there, but boy was it devastating. I'm a senior and I had such high hopes for myself for this year. I worked so hard over the summer and I came into the season in the best shape of my life. My personal expectations were through the roof.

The hardest thing was to keep my emotions in tact. This was a huge game for the team, so I had to get myself together."

She did pull herself together, and was able to not only stand and cheer the team, but she hobbled her way on crutches to the coin toss in overtime, which the Vikings won. Ultimately, Cleveland State was able to rally from a 1-0 deficit to post a thrilling 2-1 victory. But the injury meant the end of the season for McCloy, who is now forced to watch her team from the sidelines.

"It's hard to go and watch practice because you feel helpless," McCloy said. "You don't know how to help out the team, but it is good to be there because I'm supporting them. Coach [Falor] said I don't have to be there all the time, but I feel like I owe it to the girls to be there every day. Even if I'm just getting them water or shagging balls, I'm still helping. It's easy to feel like I'm not part of the team because I'm injured and I can't play, but I have to incorporate myself to the team as much as I can, or else I'll feel even lonelier."

Still an integral part of the team, McCloy has dedicated herself to becoming more vocal as a captain to push the girls to their peak. She is doing everything she can to motivate her teammates and it is absolutely paramount that she stay positive, especially when the team hits rough patches. While the responsibility of leading the team from the bench is a task in itself, she has an even bigger undertaking: to start the healing process.

With surgery scheduled for Sept. 30, McCloy is currently undergoing pre-surgery exercises twice a day, which include icing and muscle stimulation to take out the swelling and decrease pain. She is also working to increase her range of motion, with 40 reps of quad exercises, 50 knee bends, leg raises and wall climbs.

It is not the physical part of the rehab that will be difficult for McCloy. She has already undergone that with her first ACL injury. Rather, it is the knowledge that her teammates will be playing while she is undergoing surgery and post-surgery.

"Physically, I've been through it before and I can do it again," McCloy said. "I just want to make sure I do it right. I don't want to come back too soon. Mentally and emotionally is where it is tough. The season is still going on through November and that's when the surgery is at its crucial point. That is where it hurts the most, but I am still a captain, a leader and a teammate, so it may be hard for me, but I have to stay tough for them as well as myself."

Staying tough is difficult, but McCloy admits that allowing herself to be helped is even harder.

"I feel so helpless sometimes," McCloy said. "I realized that every day things you take for granted aren't easy and people want to help. I'm so stubborn sometimes in thinking I can do it, but I can't. I just need to let people help me and that's going to be difficult, but I have to because I'll be on crutches and will be on an even bigger immobilizer. It's going to be challenging, but I have to realize that it is ok to be helpless sometimes."

One thing McCloy is not helpless about is in the opportunity to play one more year. The NCAA permits a handful of individuals a sixth year if they endure medical hardships and have not already taken a medical redshirt. For McCloy, her situation is unique--she did not play her first two years at Eastern Kentucky before transferring to Cleveland State and has only used three of her four years of eligibility, with one of the three years spent on her transfer from Eastern Kentucky.

The eligibility process is long, complicated and extremely difficult as the NCAA rarely grants a sixth year, but for McCloy, the chance to finish her career is one that she can't pass up.

"With this injury I might not get that chance," McCloy said. "But I'm going to try. This could be the end, which is sad, but I love where I am and I love how I got here. I'm happy with what I've done at Cleveland State and how far I've come. I never saw myself being here my freshman year when I didn't make Eastern Kentucky's team and I couldn't have asked for two better seasons here.

"I know it isn't guaranteed, but I would love the chance at one more year to finish my career healthy."

The road ahead for McCloy is sure to be long and strenuous, but there's no doubting that having the experience of that first ACL tear and keeping an optimistic outlook will still allow McCloy to help her team. And it just might make her road to recovery a little easier.